you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
