I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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