ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
