sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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