I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
