Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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