oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
