At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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