I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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