therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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