Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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