I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
