with your own penis?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
