I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
