adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
50% drunk capacity currently
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
