you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I still have a little drunk in my system
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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