Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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