by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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