Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
