We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
