apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
