we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
