We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
