So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
