I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
