Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
