Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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