Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
