Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can feel your judgement through the phone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
