i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
