i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
