Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
