Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
