none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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