Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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