Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
