And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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