Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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