Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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