i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm always down for nudity.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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