I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
