I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
