I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
