the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
