I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
