Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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