a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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