By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
