What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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