you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
