Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
