She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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